Why do parents still oppose love marriage in India?

Thanks to the constant diet of Bollywood movies, Indian parents still love to live with the mentality of controlling their adult children and love marriage does not in their vocabulary. The reasons offered by parents range from the significance of commitment issues and practicality to the fear of losing control over their son or daughter to the one they are besotted with.

Youngsters trying to challenge the stranglehold of arranged marriage are considered by their parents to have gone “astray” from the family traditions.

As opposed to the jodi-seeking generation, and in order to maintain peace with the jodi-making generation, arranged marriages have been the norm round the world for a very long time. If we read history, we realize that love marriages have gained pace about 200 years ago only since the marriage of Queen Victoria and Price Albert.

Arranged marriages have helped preserve our culture since weddings in India is a celebration of the collective, and not individuals. In India, marriages take place between families. There is also a financial angle to the preference for being a part of the mass by marrying within the community. In case of arranged marriages, our huge extended family is always willing to help the extended family members in need, monetarily or otherwise.

Parenthood, especially for Indian parents, can be described as a journey of thwarting expectations by being obsessively involved in every aspect of their child growth and development. Opposing love marriage is just a part of responsible parenting, for most of the Indian parents.

Having said all that, what if you love someone – how do you convince your parents for an arrange marriage? Follow these three steps:

1)     Pick someone they would approve of - Prove that your love is more than puppy love.

2)     Prove your maturity- Are you aware of the minor irritations you create – not emptying out your trousers’ pockets before dumping them in the laundry hamper, not informing your whereabouts, leaving late for work perpetually, etc. Fix them. This level of self-improvement and self-awareness shows you are maturing as a person.

3)     Win over each other’s family - It requires a small amount of humility in you to pour energy into befriending someone who views you with mistrust. It is owrth it - both as a couple as well as an individual.

Indian parents feel that arranged marriages are the best way for them to ensure that their children are on the right path to prosperity and happiness. Marriage quickly reduces the significance of your parents. Fight their fears. Before even bringing up the concern of love marriage, prove how important your family is to you, and they would definitely make your dream of love marriage come true.