# Love story #

The best stories are the love stories

Taylor Swift’s song Love story goes thus-

We were both young when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
See you make your way through the crowd
And say hello

Little did I know
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet"
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you, please, don't go

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting, all that's left to do is run
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story, baby just say yes…

Yes, love does make the world go round. It’s the one powerful feeling we all long to experience and be in through our lives.

Here are a few love stories to keep you warm-

#Ben Bryant, 81, lives on the Upper West Side with his wife of almost 50 years, Elizabeth, who's just a few years younger. They met in August 1967 when Ben was the lead in the musical Carousel and Elizabeth (known as Betsey back then) was in a supporting role. During a rehearsal, Ben spotted Betsey. "It was as though there was a pin spotlight on her and all the others in the room faded from view." He asked her to lunch. With some reluctance, she accepted they went to the snack bar across from the theater. Ben calls it a "profound inner knowing." He said, "I knew she was the one."

 Later that day, on Ben's way to the laundromat, he asked Betsey to join him. Under the glamorous fluorescent lighting, they had their first date. Ben says their relationship felt natural from then on...three months later they married. 

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# Keani and Nicholas noticed each other at a party but they didn't say hello. Nicholas told a friend, "That girl in the blue shirt is absolutely beautiful, I need to know her." A year later, a mutual friend introduced them when Keani was 18 and Nicholas was 24. They talked about soccer (their favorite sport), travels, college, and the fact they went to the same high school but never met before. They both loved the same kind of music: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Incubus, and Oasis. Keani liked Nicholas' sense of adventure, his beard, and the fact that she felt comfortable around him as if they were old friends. Nicholas liked Keani's spontaneity and sense of adventure, which makes sense since she's a travel blogger Their summer was full of fun moments: jumping off a local pier in their Florida hometown and drinking wine on the kitchen floor.

 Keani says, "One night he took me up to his rooftop, laid out a blanket, and we watched the stars for hours. The world was quiet, the stars were bright. It was the moment I knew I was falling in love Story with him."

Why do parents still oppose love marriage in India?

Thanks to the constant diet of Bollywood movies, Indian parents still love to live with the mentality of controlling their adult children and love marriage does not in their vocabulary. The reasons offered by parents range from the significance of commitment issues and practicality to the fear of losing control over their son or daughter to the one they are besotted with.

Youngsters trying to challenge the stranglehold of arranged marriage are considered by their parents to have gone “astray” from the family traditions.

As opposed to the jodi-seeking generation, and in order to maintain peace with the jodi-making generation, arranged marriages have been the norm round the world for a very long time. If we read history, we realize that love marriages have gained pace about 200 years ago only since the marriage of Queen Victoria and Price Albert.

Arranged marriages have helped preserve our culture since weddings in India is a celebration of the collective, and not individuals. In India, marriages take place between families. There is also a financial angle to the preference for being a part of the mass by marrying within the community. In case of arranged marriages, our huge extended family is always willing to help the extended family members in need, monetarily or otherwise.

Parenthood, especially for Indian parents, can be described as a journey of thwarting expectations by being obsessively involved in every aspect of their child growth and development. Opposing love marriage is just a part of responsible parenting, for most of the Indian parents.

Having said all that, what if you love someone – how do you convince your parents for an arrange marriage? Follow these three steps:

1)     Pick someone they would approve of - Prove that your love is more than puppy love.

2)     Prove your maturity- Are you aware of the minor irritations you create – not emptying out your trousers’ pockets before dumping them in the laundry hamper, not informing your whereabouts, leaving late for work perpetually, etc. Fix them. This level of self-improvement and self-awareness shows you are maturing as a person.

3)     Win over each other’s family - It requires a small amount of humility in you to pour energy into befriending someone who views you with mistrust. It is owrth it - both as a couple as well as an individual.

Indian parents feel that arranged marriages are the best way for them to ensure that their children are on the right path to prosperity and happiness. Marriage quickly reduces the significance of your parents. Fight their fears. Before even bringing up the concern of love marriage, prove how important your family is to you, and they would definitely make your dream of love marriage come true.

# Love marriage # Romance

According to Wikipedia, In India, the term love marriage is used to describe a marriage which is decided upon by the couple, with or without consulting their parents or families. ... Social hurdles remain as arranged marriages are preferred over love marriages in most parts of the country.

A discussion on a famous website asks an amusing question- Are love marriages in India worth it? Is it worth disappointing your parents if more than half of the marriages are just a compromise? India has one of the lowest divorce rates in the world, but does that mean everyone is happy with their marriage?

These are questions most lovers wouldn’t want to delve into but here is an interesting fact-

A survey published in The Economic Times states that between 2001 and 2015, love was the officially recorded reason for 38,585 murders and culpable homicide cases. Government records also link it with 79,189 suicides. Further, 2.6 lakh kidnapping cases were also filed in this period where marriage was mentioned as the motive of 'abducting' women. That's an average of seven murder cases, 14 suicides and 47 kidnapping cases - mostly because somebody eloped and  the families are uncomfortable with that idea — every day. 

Furthermore,  the data shows that Andhra Pradesh, followed by Uttar Pradesh, Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu and Madhya Pradesh have witnessed the highest number of murder cases where love was the stated motive. 

Uma Chakarvarti, a retired professor who has done extensive work on gender admits, "To understand this violence in oppressing a person's exercise of choice when it comes to marriage, one has to understand patriarchy and caste system."

So why do Indian parents hate love marriages so much?

Love marriage is not a part of our societal make up? It’s not India’s DNA?

Opposing love marriages means  responsible parenting?

Parents feel they are simply taking responsibility for their children’s future happiness by bypassing the heartache of failed love by arranging marriages- seriously?

The discussion is endless .

How can parents manage and control their kids’ love life? What decides your

Children’s  health and happiness better than the choice of spouse? 

Why such a fuss over love marriages?